The two on the flanks have been away for ten days, traveling with their dad to his family in Portugal and England. I have been home with the youngest and the oldest, and to be honest it has been heaven. I feel two years worth of tired in my soul and my bones. Two years ago, that's when things got really difficult in my marriage, that's when that feeling of bliss in my chest disappeared. And then there was all the stuff with Wolfie, and the intensity of self employment and general life with four kids. So now, things are settling down. My ex husband is moving out today, seven months after we split up, and finally, we can high five each other and say "we did it". He's renting the farm next door, the kids will have an even bigger kingdom to roam, and I'll be expecting that feeling in my chest to return any time soon.