New year / full moon.
The turn into a new year and the full moon coincided this time, so the last few days have been about giving thanks for the old and setting intentions for the new. About digging deep within and nurturing. About starting fresh but right.
The last year was calmer and less dramatic than the previous one, more in the sign of slow growth than sudden change. We have been reunited as a family, and although it sounds romantic (which it is, too), it is also hard work and does not grant us any laziness, practically nor emotionally. Having chosen a life with the kids at home with us, there are not many breaks. Yes, it is intense, and demanding, and it drives us all a little loony sometimes, but it so worth it. I am so happy we chose this, and so proud of my husband for making it possible.
This year was a lot about work. I changed the name of my business to my name, made some other important decisions, and have been busier than ever. I have also trusted myself as a photographer more than ever, and realised it's probably not just luck. I have integrated who I am more and more into my work, and will continue that this year and forever. My work is about authenticity and the love for life as it is, in all its perfect imperfection. Life unposed. Real life, messy life, love in all its expressions. My integrity as a creative is so vital and I am better at guarding it all the time. I know more about my worth and can stand by it. That feels great, it feels like real growth. I look so much forward to this year and know it has tons of challenges and fun in store!
Personally, I am learning a lot about myself all the time. I am more real with myself now; I can look at the dark parts and not draw away, I can stay with myself in discomfort more. I feel more joy in the simple things, like sitting down on my yoga mat, or smelling my children's hair, or washing the dishes, or just listening to the sounds of my family in my house, of lives lived and shared. I have slowly started cooking food again, after a long long break. I kiss my husband more. I dance more. I sing lullabies again. I let myself take time with all of this; at almost fourty, I have finally granted myself the patience to not accomplish things so quickly; to let things unfold as they will. To not rush things. I think it has to do with trust.
So the year I will enter a new decade has begun, and it looks good. Exciting travels, beautiful friendships, new challenges, old challenges, more wisdom, and most importantly; more steps on the love path. In gratitude!