Being over half way through this pregnancy, I am slowly coming to the realisation that Falk is going to be a big brother soon. My little baby! It feels like I just had him, he was just this tiny squishy baby and I was just recently born as a mother, again. And now, there is another one coming.
When I was expecting Freja, I struggled a bit with what so many second-time mamas do; the fear of whether there would be enough space in my heart to be able to love another baby as much as the first one. It's quite logical, really: The child you have from before, is someone you love and know and would die for - it's someone who has shaped your life so vividly already. The baby in the belly is still something abstract, an idea of someone, fragmented movements, physical sensations, dreams and wonders, but not yet someone whole and someone you know. So you just have to trust that you will also mother this baby as well as you did the first one - which is hard to believe, sometimes. But of course, when Freja was born, she was instantly my baby, just as much as Ronja, and my heart had space. My heart grew. The same experience with Falk, but I had less worry this time, I trusted my former experience and knew that my heart would grow even more, that he would be my baby, too.
And now, I am going through these motions yet again. It feels like an enormous gift, and as the one in my belly grows and kicks and moves within me more and more, the wonder of what is awaiting fills me with such joy. I am one lucky mama.
